Love is the bridge of all gaps. This thought became much clearer during my time at the 10 day Vipassana meditation retreat.
One unexpected benefit to meditating every day for several hours is your body falls into deep sleep much faster. One afternoon after lunch, I fell into a deep sleep almost immediately.
I had a dream based on someone that I remembered from my past.
In 2011, I moved to New Hampshire to be part of the Free State Project. During my time living there, I befriended a fellow Free Stater. I do not think we became the best of friends, but it was cool to spend time with someone like me (another Free Stater). Although, it was hard to hang out with him because I was not fond of his wife.
I do not know if she was not fond of African-Americans or myself specifically. I do not think I will ever know. Although, when I was asleep, I had a dream that we were having a heart-felt conversation. Then, it was not much longer before I started to get intimate with her. Thank God, I woke up!
I had never found her to be attractive, but I think what felt like a 3 minute dream gave me an important lesson.
Love is the bridge of all gaps. We did not like each other, but those feelings do not have to be permanent. It starts with breaking the habit of being yourself.
Sometimes, being yourself can be perceived as a “jerk” to someone else. This is the reason why it is important to take a closer look at our personality.
I am sure that we were both prejudice against each other, but the fact is that all of us are prejudice.
Prejudice is nothing more than embracing feelings based on opinions that we form within minutes of being among someone or something.
Whether you are prejudice about race, religion, politics, or lifestyles, it does not negate the fact that you are prejudice.
The reality is that we make these quick assumptions by default. Is it our sincere intention to judge people or things in this manner? I do not know.
Although, I do not feel that we are doomed to this mentality. It is like having a hereditary disease. There is nothing particular that you have done to become a victim of it. Moreover, you will probably ignore it and arrive to the conclusion that nothing can be done about it.
Contrary to popular belief, there are solutions to these problems. If epigenetics is the solution to hereditary diseases, then what is the solution to curing ourselves of being prejudice towards others?
The solution starts in us. It is better to look at people and things with a deeper sense of ignorance. Instead of trusting our instincts, we should actually ask questions to get the truth.
The book, The Four Agreements offers a great agreement that we should commit to our daily life. “Do not make assumptions.”
It is easier said than done. I know! Although, it is time to incorporate this new habit in your life. Will you begin?
I can only be perceived as a loving person if I start working on being more loving to others. Furthermore, I can do my best to focus on seeing the good traits in someone else. Although, if she is not emitting love or focusing on seeing the good traits within me, there is nothing that I can do about it.
It is worth pondering on the following question. Do we want people to change because we care about their wellbeing? Or do we want them to change to spare our own selves from changing?
The best course of action to take is to focus on our journey in life. We cannot control others, but we can control ourselves. We can use our will to increase the capacity to love one another.
That dream taught me that it is possible to become best friends or even marry that person you hated originally.
It starts with love. Love is the bridge of all gaps.